A Better Me: Developing One's Self

Well Being and Your Spirit of Play

2011-11-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

Is it time for your second childhood? Maybe it is and you have failed to notice. You've been too busy doing the things American adults do best: work, worry--and wonder why.

A vital part of human nature is your spirit of play. You came into the world with your share. More than likely you used it from the beginning. A game of peekaboo with an infant shows how early it is in place. Just watch the reaction. How eager and responsive the child is to engage in playfulness.

Unfortunately, it’s all too common today to associate playing with childhood, not with adult life. Remember hearing things like this from well meaning teachers and parents when you were young? “Act your age.” "Stop playing and get to work.” “When are you going to grow up?” But burn this thought into your consciousness: In the growing process playfulness is not meant to be left behind. It is to come along with you, keeping heart and spirit young regardless of your age.

An episode in one “Marvin” comic strip illustrates two ways to view play: One from the outside in and the other from the inside out. In this strip; the family was at the beach. Marvin’s father, looking at his son on the sand, said to himself, “Marvin is playing.”

Marvin, shovel and bucket in hand sitting near a newly dug hole and a pile of sand, had his own thought. He said to himself, “I’m a pirate digging for buried treasure.” Play when viewed from the outside in is an activity, but when viewed from the inside out, it is a way of life with at least two important features. First, Marvin is serious about what he is doing. To him it is not something frivolous or without purpose. There is intense concentration in this game of imagination.

The second feature is illustrated in children’s popular game of dress up. They begin first with the clothing. Then they try on this and then that. As they do they begin to imagine themselves in various settings. In the course of the game they may go to work, travel, go out to dinner, go to a fancy ball. The play may move from one thing to another. But none of these imagined ventures were a precondition for the playing. These came into the imagination with the act of playing.

In other words, in true play the satisfactions come in the playing itself and not from realizing or achieving some specific goal.

Play generates a vitality that you cannot find in any other activity. With playfulness comes enthusiasm, expectancy, spontaneity, imagination, creativity, adventure, experimentation, discovery. The very attributes one needs to enhance well being and sustain morale

Desmond Morris, in The Human Zoo, interpreted play activities this way: “One of childhood's most precious qualities is the urge to seek and find and test, to invent, to discover...The child asks new questions; the adult answers old ones; the childlike adult find answers to the new questions. The child is inventive; the adult is productive; the childlike adult is inventively productive."

Are you in need of play? It doesn’t have to remain lost or out of reach. Look to the ways of your own youth, and let it live in you once more. You’ll never be sorry. Rediscover your playfulness. Make laughter as common for you as it is for children on the playgrounds at school.

As a hospital chaplain Cy Eberhart, (now retired) was a firsthand witness to the entire spectrum of human emotions: personal successes and failures; the deepest despairs and the great peaks of joy. Two questions remained foremost in his mind: How was it that some could find inner strengths that brought courage and hope and others could not? What was to be learned from these experiences that would have a positive and creative effect for daily, routine living?

His lectures, writings, workshops, book In the Presence of Humor and his living-history performances of America’s famed humorist Will Rogers offers some of the answers.

I am a Grinch

2009-11-24T18:57:00.000-08:00

I can't help it.
I just can't think of any Christmas presents I want.

by David Leonhardt

It was my first meeting of GA. This is not AA. It is not NA. It is GA...Grinches Anonymous.
"Please stand up and introduce yourself," I was urged.
"My name is The Happy Guy, and I am a Grinch."
The room fell silent. People looked at one another. Finally, a little old lady spoke up: "Isn't that a conflict of interest, sonny?"
It's true. The Grinch is not generally seen as the most jovial of fellows. And I am The Happy Guy. But I had to face the truth. I am a Grinch.
Oh sure, I don't have furry, green skin. And I can't seem to twist my face into that diabolical grin, no matter how hard I try. Not even with a plunger, a blow torch and a stapler – but that's another story.
"Tell us, please, what makes you a Grinch," the moderator urged me.
"I just seem to spoil everybody's Christmas. People ask what I want for Christmas, and I can't think of anything."
The room fell silent again. People looked at one another again. Finally, Little Old Lady spoke up: "You mean I can have your Christmas presents?"
A Grinch who does not want a Christmas present
It was hard to believe, but when somebody asks me what I want for Christmas, I can't think of anything.
At that moment, I just don't want anything. I always seem to have enough. In fact, I always seem to have more than I need. I have over a hundred music CDs, but when was the last time I played most of them. I've given away more books than I've read, and I've read more than I have.
We have a special machine just to make waffles. And one just to make popcorn. Both of them make prize-winning dust bunnies. And we have a machine just to make bread, which we at least use to make pizza dough. We have glasses and bowls that I would never recognize and some clothes in which I would not want to be recognized. "Why does that make you a Grinch?" the moderator asked.
"I make it difficult for them to give. What I really would like is for somebody to come and take things away."
The room fell silent once more. People looked at one another yet again. Finally, Little Old Lady passed me a notepad: "Mind jotting down your address for me, sonny?"
What would a Grinch want for Christmas?
My wife suggested socks. Got'm.
Shirts? Got'm.
Batteries? There's an idea. Put me down for batteries.
Cologne? Here are the bottles from the last two years. One of them is open.
Isn't there anything I want?
"Why not ask if they have any ideas you could consider?" the moderator suggested.
"You mean, like being a consultant on how to give things to me?" I asked.
The room fell into another silence. People looked at each other yet another time. Little Old Lady said: "Just refer them to me. I want lots of things."
Why would anybody want more stuff to clean, more stuff to break, more stuff to fix, more stuff to store. I don't even know where to put last week's dirty dishes.
If people keep buying gifts when you already are storing more things than you could ever use, sooner or later you would be crowded right out of your house. Sa-ay, there's an idea.
"Couldn't you humor them? Just a bit?" the moderator wondered.
"Actually, I know one thing I want...a chalet in Switzerland."
The room fell into its habitual silence. People looked at one another, as usual. Little Old Lady jumped up: "My bags are packed. When do we leave?"
I think I'll ask for a GA membership in my stocking this year.
Get a personal growth humor column, like this one on Christmas presents, in your inbox every week.
David Leonhardt is author of a self-help happiness book. He also runs a Liquid Vitamins Store and serves as a SEO/SEM website marketing consultant

Planet Focus: 10 Ways to Quell Distraction in an Attention-deficient Age

2009-11-10T04:14:00.000-08:00

Author: Maggie Jackson

Eating on the run. Cellphoning while driving. Email avalanches. Distracted living. We prize knowledge work, yet have little time to think. We can contact millions of people worldwide, but have trouble sitting down to chat or eat with those we love. In this wondrous, high-tech, hyper-mobile age, something crucial is missing: attention -- the key to recapturing our ability to connect, reflect, and relax; the secret to coping with an overloaded, boundary-less world. What's needed now is a renaissance of attention. By quelling distraction and strengthening our powers of attention, we can thrive -- not just survive -- in a complex, mutable new age. Think "Planet Focus." Here’s how to get started:

Speak a Language of Attention -- Attention isn't just one thing. It's now considered by most neuroscientists to be a tripartite set of skills made up of focus, awareness, and executive attention, i.e. planning and decision-making. Perhaps most importantly, scientists are beginning to discover that attention can be bolstered through practice and training. There's more research yet to be done on this score, but these initial discoveries can help us thrive in a world of overload. Try deliberately using all your senses to expand your awareness fully when you’re in a new situation, such as a job interview. Or when you are struggling with a tough task, try keeping the "spotlight" of your focus on that challenge, pulling it back if your mind drifts. Think of these attentional skills as different arrows in your cognitive quiver.

Be Wary of Interruptions -- An interruption is much more than a delay in your to-do list. Researchers from the new field of "interruption science" have discovered that knowledge workers switch tasks every three minutes. And once interrupted, a worker takes an average 25 minutes to return to their original task, according to informatics scientist Gloria Mark. Humans are built to be interrupted, since that’s how we stay tuned to changes in our environment. But that means we have trouble pursuing our goals, and even remembering our goals, since our short-term memory is quite limited. Try to turn off the ringers and control the urge to check email constantly if you want to get focused work done.

Practice Message Restraint -- All too often, we are each other’s distractions -- especially when it comes to the floods of messages washing over us daily. The average worker gets 156 emails a day, according to the Radicati research group. And that’s just the beginning; instant-messages, phone calls, faxes and snail mail add to the influx. Jonathan Spira, chief executive officer of the business research firm Basex, cautions people to send only clear, brief, necessary messages, avoid one-word replies such as "Great!", and refrain from duplicating messages in multiple media. "We still have a lot of work to do in managing the knowledge worker’s attention," observes Spira.

Focus on One Another -- We’re so used to splitting our focus between pdas and tvs, and people and tasks that it’s hard to truly attend to any one thing. But continuous partial attention undermines the depth and quality of our relationships and our interactions. When we give each other half-focus in conversations, on conference calls, or at meals, we are effectively saying, "you aren’t worth my time." As well, the "creative energy and critical thinking" that occurs in a good work meeting is lost when everyone's madly checking email, writes Intel principal engineer Nathan Zeldes in an article on the costs of "infomania" in the e-journal First Monday. Focusing in full on one another can help people better connect in a fast-paced, overloaded world.

White Space -- Quelling distractions is both a matter of harnessing our inner resources, i.e. our ability to pay attention, and creating a climate conducive to focus. And today, finding the space to focus is hard. More than half of workers typically have to juggle so many tasks or are so often interrupted that they find it hard to get work done, according to the Families and Work Institute. That’s why a growing number of companies are creating "white space" - physical places or times for uninterrupted thinking or creative thought. In 2005, IBM software engineers began avoiding meetings and even emails or calls on Fridays, so they could concentrate on creative inventing. Now "Think Fridays" are practiced worldwide. Providence, R.I.-based Citizens Financial Group recently made innovation-oriented mini-retreats a part of company life, holding more than 300 such day-long sessions in the past year.

Cut Back on Multitasking -- Americans have made multitasking into a national pastime. Sixty-five percent of people eat while they drive. Sixty percent of kids age eight to 18 multitask some or most of the time they’re doing homework. Who doesn't sneak a peek at email during conference calls? Yet multitasking isn't as easy as it looks, as a growing body of research on the dangers of distracted driving shows. Toggling between tasks slows us down because the brain needs time to switch attention to the new task, disengage from the old work, and decide what resources to use for the new job. Multitasking may also inhibit deeper, flexible learning, research shows. So, try single-tasking if you want to get the job done right.

Eat Mindfully -- We snack, we gulp, we eat power bars on the run. Forty percent of our food budgets are spent eating out, up from a quarter in 1990. Twenty-five percent of restaurant meals are ordered from the car, up from 15 percent in 1988. But this neo-nomadic gastronomy undermines a core aspect of a healthy life -- our ability to taste, sense and share our food. We've fallen into a national habit of mindless eating, which encourages "detachment" from our bodily awareness, says Cornell psychology professor Brian Wansink. Try to take the time to stop and eat, especially with family and friends. And notice the smell, taste and feel of your food. You'll be dialing down on stress and boosting your powers of attention at the same time.

Meditate -- Meditation isn't for everyone, but since it involves a roster of techniques specifically to train attention, this 2,500-year-old practice is timely in an era of distraction and overload. A sub-field of neuroscience is researching the effect of meditation on attention, and some first studies show that meditation can strengthen the three main attentional skills of focus, awareness and executive attention. One study shows that five days of meditation significantly boosted executive attention skills in a group of 40 students in China. Just as beginning pianists practice scales before they tackle Beethoven, so meditation can help us learn how to better control our mind.

Hit the Pause Button -- Americans are in a hurry. We have one of the lowest rates of residential mobility in the post-war era; just 14 percent of Americans move annually. But the average number of miles that Americans drive annually has risen 80 percent in the past 20 years. Forty percent of Americans sleep fewer than seven hours a night. Hyper-mobility is such a cultural value that we scorn the idea of stopping, pausing or stillness. That may be one reason why we get the least vacation time of any developed country, yet a third of Americans don’t take all their days off. Still, racing breathlessly through life, we short-circuit our power of awareness, the cornerstone of our sensitivity to our surroundings. Stop a minute. It won’t hurt a bit.

Be A Role Model for Focus -- If we want to nurture "Planet Focus," we have to cultivate our own attentional skills - and pass it on. Kids today are growing up in a land of distraction. They are exposed on average to nearly six hours a day of non-print media. Two-thirds of children under six live in homes that keep the tv on half or more of the time, an environment linked to attention-deficiencies. Given what we are learning about the lifelong plasticity of the brain and the impact of environment on development, is it any wonder that being immersed in a scattershot world produces scattershot kids -- and adults? Be an attentional role model. Give the gift of your attention. Carve out time for focused thinking and relating -- and speak up against multitasking, interruptions and hyper-hurrying. Rediscover what it’s like to have a long conversation, to sit still, to go beyond what’s first-up on Google. The word "attention" comes from the Latin verb meaning to "stretch toward." It’s not always easy to nurture your attentional skills -- but it’s worthwhile.

©2008 Maggie Jackson

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/time-management-articles/planet-focus-10-ways-to-quell-distraction-in-an-attentiondeficient-age-452232.html

About the Author:

Maggie Jackson is an award-winning author and journalist who writes the popular "Balancing Ads" column in the Boston Globe. Her work also has appeared on National Public Radio and in the New York Times, among other national publications. Her acclaimed first book, What's Happening to Home? Balancing Work, Life, and Refuge in the Information Age, examined the loss of home as a refuge. Her new book, Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age, is currently available from Prometheus Books.

Dare To Experiment With Your Ideas...And Reap The Rewards That Come With It

2009-11-03T02:57:00.000-08:00

By Ron Balagot

Creativity is inventing, experimenting,
growing, taking risks, breaking rules,
making mistakes, and having fun.

~ Mary Lou Cook ~
An excellent quality you'll want to develop in yourself, if you want to experience more fulfillment in life, is the willingness or courage to experiment.

It is one of the key qualities of highly creative people.

In fact, without this quality, many inventions, creative works, and more would have never materialized. They would have just stayed ideas in people’s minds.

And as a result, we would not have benefited from them.

I mean, think what would have happened if Thomas Edison (who has more than a thousand inventions to his name) had stopped experimenting after his 50th (or so) attempt at creating the light bulb? Or if he didn’t experiment at all? Well, we wouldn’t have the light bulb today, now, would we?

And that goes for so many other things we now enjoy.

Of course, besides the willingness to experiment, you need to be aware of other important factors that must come into play when experimenting.

What do I mean?

Well, it’s also critical when experimenting that:

You avoid prejudging the outcome (or avoid entertaining all kinds of negative thoughts). And you avoid worrying about the things you cannot control. Instead, you do your part by experimenting and then leave the outcome completely to God.
You remain in a highly focused state (where nothing else matters except the task at hand).
You make it a goal to enjoy the process (deciding ahead of time that you’ll do your best to enjoy, or have fun, experimenting—in other words, deciding not to take things too seriously—makes a big difference, because it puts you in an empowering state).
You be willing to make mistakes…even if it means you have to look awkward or foolish at times (Thomas Edison was said to have made thousands of attempts before finally inventing the light bulb…and he reached his goal despite the discouraging words of others).
You believe (without a shred of doubt) that you’ll eventually get your desired result (belief is a very powerful force).
You persist in experimenting despite internal and external resistance.

Another good strategy you can use is to make it a habit of asking questions like the following, whenever you come up with an idea: “What if I did this?” Or, “What would happen if I did this?” Or, “What if I…(then simply finish the question based on your situation)?”

Questions that start with “What if…?” or "What would happen if...?" are powerful questions.

(You see, those kinds of questions also motivate you to want to find out what will happen…in order to satisfy your curiosity.)

I can’t stress enough the importance of developing this quality in yourself...the willingness—the courage—to experiment.

Looking back at my own life, had I not experimented as much as I did, many of the ideas I had in mind would have stayed that way…just ideas.

That’s why I strongly encourage experimentation. Not only do I know that it works, I also know that it's highly rewarding. (It's a wonderful feeling to see an idea—something that was once only in your head—turn into something that others can benefit from.)

Again, just remember, it’s not enough to be willing to experiment. It’s also important that you don’t give up when there's resistance (resistance from within yourself or outside yourself…for example, the negative feedback of others). Because if you do, you’ll never achieve your desired results.

Persistence is a very important quality. In fact, so important that President Calvin Coolidge said the following:

Nothing in the world can take the place of
persistence. Talent will not; nothing is
more common than unsuccessful men with
talent. Genius will not; unrewarded
genius is almost a proverb. Education alone
will not; the world is full of educated
derelicts. Persistence and determination
alone are omnipotent.
So, let me ask you: What’s been playing around in your head for a long time? (Or lately?) What ideas have you written down? Or typed on your computer? What do you want to see materialize so that others could benefit?

If your inner critic is trying to hold you back, I suggest you completely ignore it.

Then just go ahead and experiment, experiment, experiment. (In fact, be a person who constantly experiments. Be an "experimenter.") And see just how far you can go with your ideas.

I can promise you that the emotional rewards will be great.

About the Author:

Ron Balagot is the author of Unleash The Courageous Child Within and Confidence & Courage Tips...To Help You Realize Your Dreams. For valuable tips and advice that will take your life to the next level, sign up for his FREE Achieve Your Dreams Newsletter at: http://www.achieveyourdreamsnewsletter.com

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The Red Balloon of Happiness

2009-10-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

Do your choices advance or impede your happiness?

by David Leonhardt

Just when you think you know it all, some 17-month old child comes along and teaches you another valuable life lesson.

Little Lady lost her favorite ball. There are few things that bring this 17-month-old more pure joy than playing with her favorite ball. And, of course, we want our daughter to have all the happiness she can get.

So we headed out to the store to replace the missing ball. Little Lady enjoyed the outing, since there were so many exciting things to pull off shelves. And when we reached the ball aisle, she nearly jumped for joy. (OK, more like raced to the bin and started covering the floor with her joy, one bounce at a time.)

As we left the aisle, Little Lady was happy and smiling. She clasped her replacement ball in her hands as we walked up to the cash. While waiting to pay, Little Lady caught sight of a red balloon that had obviously been used for some promotion, but was now wandering aimlessly around the floor like a lost puppy.

If you think a ball can bring happiness, wait 'til you see the sparkle in the eye of a toddler who has just found her very own red balloon. Pure joy! Of course, she adopted the balloon immediately and clung to it all the way back to the car. Did she want to hold the ball? No way. She had a balloon!

Lessons in happiness

I couldn't help but marvel at how she valued the free, fragile balloon more than the sturdy ball for which I had just paid good money. Is there a lesson we can learn for our own self-actualization? Here are the possible lessons that immediately occurred to me:

1. Why bother having a thick skin, if your daughter prefers thin skins?
2. If you drift aimlessly long enough, you might get adopted.
3. Money can't buy the most important things in life (happiness, joy, smiles, red balloons, etc.)
4. Your child can see value where you cannot, so listen to what she says.

I figure at least two of these are valuable lessons that can add daily happiness to a person's life. Little Lady teaches me self-actualization lessons daily now, and I am learning to listen with head and heart.

How often do we value the wrong things? The things that cost the most? How hard to we work to earn the extra income to buy things we simply do not need. Anyone reading this probably has more than she will ever need, and yet don't we all want more anyway?

Suppose we choose to have less of the things money can buy, and instead chose to have more time? More time to spend loving our family? More time to spend knowing ourselves? More time to just be? What if we are right now giving up the red balloon of happiness and chasing after the costly ball?

Living the life lesson

My wife and I made a big self-actualization decision a few months ago. We gave up the condo in the city for a big ol' house in the country. Our red balloon is space to raise a family in a much less noisy and stressed-out environment, and the opportunity for me to work out of home close to the ones I love so dearly. The ball we gave up was the "glamour" of city living and a fancy condo.

Assuming we can make a living from my motivational self-help book, my free daily happiness ezine , this web site and whatever other work-from-home projects I take on, we get to keep the red balloon.

I invite you to look carefully at your life. Ask what truly brings you meaning and fulfillment. Then ask yourself if you could have more of that if you spent less time and effort on activities that don't bring you meaning but just fill your time. Self-actualization is when you follow up those questions with actions and make changes in your daily life.

Enjoy your red balloon of happiness.

Get a personal growth humor column, like this one on values and balloons, in your inbox every week.

David Leonhardt is author of a self-help happiness book. He also runs a Liquid Vitamins Store and serves as a SEO/SEM website marketing consultant

5 Steps for improving your Happiness

2009-10-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

Author: samsander

You probably know the concept of a glass being half full or half empty, and the context of this in personal happiness. A glass half full person is considered to be positive and optimistic, where as the glass half empty person is negative and pessimistic.

But achieving happiness is more complex than that, as there are always external elements to consider. And sometimes you need to change your environment in order to change yourself. Finding happiness and purpose comes from getting the right balance in relationships with others, your work, and something larger than yourself.

So here are some tips to help you achieve true happiness.

Step 1: Understand Yourself

Your brain was already hardwired for some level of happiness when you were born. Of course, that doesn't mean that you can't change your level of happiness, it just means that you have a natural in-built predisposition to achieving happiness. The important thing is to know your own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to achieving happiness. Are you a glass is half full or half empty person?

Do a personal Strengths Weaknesses Opportunities and Threats analysis, or SWOT analysis, on your beliefs on happiness.

Step 2: Look After Your Mind

While there are many external influences that affect your happiness, your own thoughts and beliefs have a big impact too. And since you are in charge of your beliefs and thoughts, which in turn reflect in your emotions, you also have some control over your emotions including happiness.

So think happy thoughts. Understand what makes you happy and what detracts from your happiness, and use this understanding to your thoughts. It helps to keep a diary of your thoughts. Write down the positive and negative thoughts you have and how this affects your feelings.

Also try meditation or other mind clearing technique to help your mind distress and stay in balance.

Step 3: Work on Your Relationships

Humans are actually a 'pack' species, which means we naturally crave social interaction. We all need love, friendship and family.

So establish a network of friends to socialize with and just have fun. Work on your most valued relationships – your family, your children, your partner.

Step 4: Find a Connection to Something Bigger Than Yourself

You wouldn't be the first or last person to question the meaning of our existence and life in general. And what about destiny and our ultimate death? And of course there is no simple explanation, other than it's something bigger than yourself and something that you need to connect with in order to come to terms with your being.

And whether this is religion, exploring spirituality or adopting the universe as your bigger something, you need to find it. So attend religious ceremony, read philosophy or try volunteering to separate yourself from the material world we live in, and see what happens.

True happiness can be achieved, you just need to know how. Try the above techniques for one month. You'll be surprised how much more clarity you'll have and how your level of true self happiness improves.

You can learn more about how to achieve all your dreams by reading this FREE ebook – "The Principles of Successful Manifesting". You'll also find lots of free tips and tools on a range of self-help topics from success to people skills.

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_1188895_24.html

Anger Management Tips

2009-10-15T06:48:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been consistently battling with anger and have consistently been losing... I am hoping to find some ways to manage anger efficiently.

I have found this interesting article and would like to share this to you..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Dr. Lyle Becourtney, licensed psychologist

April Fools' Day is a day marked by the carrying out of practical jokes of varying degree on friends, enemies,
colleagues, and neighbors. While most April Fools' Day pranks are taken in stride, there will always be some that elicit very strong emotional reactions. Feelings of shame and embarrassment can in some cases lead to explosive outbursts of anger.

So what can you do to avoid coming unglued as the result of an embarrassing April Fools' Day prank? As the saying goes, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

Anger Management Tip #1
Rather than wait for a prank to occur, give yourself a stress inoculation prior to April Fools' Day. By mentally preparing for a potential stressor or anger trigger, you will be ready to handle whatever comes your way.

Take some time before April 1st to imagine some worst-case scenarios regarding possible pranks and rehearse your response. Then step back and analyze how you appear. Are you comfortable with your reaction? Do you feel that your response will be well received by others? Will it result in greater understanding and empathy or might it make matters worse? If in doubt, now is the time to modify your response. Use this opportunity, while calm and relaxed, to prepare and practice how you will respond. Keep rehearsing and critically examining your own reaction until it feels right.

While your stress inoculation, if performed correctly, should prepare you well, there is always the chance of
getting caught off-guard by an embarrassing practical joke. In such a case, the emotional part of your brain will likely activate before the thinking part does and put you at risk of overreacting and lashing out inappropriately. Thus, in the heat of the moment, you will be more apt to act on impulse than to think things through about the consequences of your actions. Although you may be completely justified in how you feel, it is imperative that you find a way to allow the thinking part of your brain to catch up to the emotional part. Otherwise you risk acting upon your aggressive impulses and possibly saying or doing something that you will later regret.

Anger Management Tip #2
So one of the first things that you need to do is to remove yourself from the situation and take a personal time-out. It is amazing what even just a few minutes can do to help clear your mind. Use your time wisely by working on your breathing and trying to modify your thoughts. Breathe deeply into your abdomen and then pause before exhaling. Repeat this several times and as your breathing slows, you will notice your mind and body beginning to relax.

Anger Management Tip #3
Further relaxation can be achieved by replacing your angry thoughts or images with those that are peaceful and tranquil. Use your imagination and let it take you to a happier time in your life or a more peaceful setting. Allow yourself to relive a proud moment from your childhood or to visually experience the vacation of your dreams. Whether you are hitting the game-winning home run in little league or lying on the most beautiful beach in the world, it is extremely difficult to feel angry while feeling so at peace.

Anger Management Tip #4
Another very powerful anger management technique is to change the inner conversation that you have with yourself (also known as self-talk). It is a very normal daily occurrence for people to have an inner dialogue that can either get them more worked up (e.g., “If he even looks at me the wrong way, I’m going to explode”) or put them in a calmer frame of mind (e.g., “Relax, stay calm, I can get through this”). The words we say to ourselves are very powerful and can definitely influence how we feel and how we subsequently behave.

Even saying a phrase like “Serenity Now,” popularized by Frank Costanza on the classic sitcom Seinfeld, can actually have a positive impact on how you feel. Since our emotions are influenced by our thoughts, any words that can conjure up peaceful images can put us in a better emotional frame of mind. Thus by repeating a pleasant phrase or mantra, we can shift from feeling angry to feeling relaxed. The key is that relaxation and anger are incompatible emotions.

So whether it is April Fools' Day coming up or you are planning to get together with your prankster buddies, give yourself a stress inoculation and don't forget to bring your other anger control tools. After all, you never know when you might need them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Lyle Becourtney, a New York State Licensed Psychologist and Certified Anger Management
Professional, has a private office in Blauvelt, NY in Rockland County. His anger management programs
provide an excellent opportunity for teens and adults to learn new anger management skills and techniques.

In addition to weekly anger management classes and individual and couples therapy, Dr. Becourtney trains other mental health professionals and parents on how to implement a positive parenting program in the home.

Visit Dr. Becourtney's online anger management store where you can sign up for a 10-hour online anger management course or purchase other great anger management products including books, home study
courses, CDs, and DVDs.

Copyright © 2008 Dr. Lyle Becourtney, http://www.AngerManagementGroups.com
All Rights Reserved.

12 Tips for Overcoming Anger and Gaining Peace

2009-09-21T04:55:00.000-07:00

by Remez Sasson

Anger appears when one is confronted with frustration, unhappiness or hurt feelings, or when plans don't turn out as desired. It also shows up when coming against opposition or criticism.

Anger never helps anyone. It wastes your energy, and can hurt your health, spoil your relationships, and cause you to miss opportunities. Getting angry is acting against your best interests.

Things don't always proceed according to plans and expectations. People not always act the way you wish them to act. You may not be always able to be in control of external influences and conditions, but you can certainly learn to control your attitude and reactions. There is no sense of allowing circumstances and people to pull your strings and affect your mind and feelings. You can choose not to let what people say and do affect your moods. You can maintain an inner attitude of emotional and mental detachment, and refuse to allow every minor event play with your feelings and evoke anger.

I often see people getting angry over unimportant and insignificant matters. Some insignificant remark or action, not getting a satisfactory reply to a question or just moodiness are enough to set fire and cause anger, snappy remarks, arguments and even physical fights. This is absolutely unnecessary. Life can be happier without this behavior.

Anger is a negative reaction, and if you wish to progress on the path of self-improvement or spiritual growth you should avoid it as much as possible.

Learning to calm down the restlessness of the mind and gaining peace of mind, is one of the best and most effective methods to overcome anger, and in fact, all negative emotions.

If you are willing to invest the time and energy, you will reap great rewards. Peace of mind will not only help you overcome anger, but also help you overcome anxiety and negative thinking, and enable you to stay calm, tranquil and self possessed in difficult and trying situations.

Peace of mind requires the development of an attitude of emotional and mental detachment, which is of vital importance for overcoming and avoiding anger. It protects you against being too affected by what people think, say or do, and is therefore highly recommended. Detachment is not an attitude of indifference and lack of sensitivity. It is an attitude of common sense and inner strength and leads to peace of mind.

I would like to suggest a few simple tips for inner detachment and peace of mind, which will help you overcome anger:

1. Devote a few minutes, at least once a day, to thinking on how much your life would be better without anger.

2. When you feel anger arising in you, start breathing deeply and slowly several times.

3. You may, instead of breathing deeply, or better still, in addition to it, count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it.

4. Drinking some water has a calming effect on the body.

5. Try to be more patient, no matter how difficult it might be.

6. Be more tolerant toward people, even toward people you don't like.

7. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. You can disagree with people, but still maintain tact and diplomacy.

8. Choose to react calmly and peacefully in every situation. Try again and again, regardless of how many times you lose control and get angry.

9. Positive thinking makes it easier to disregard remarks and behavior that otherwise could cause anger.

10. Try to manifest at least some self-control, self-discipline and more common sense.

11. Don't take everything too seriously. It is not worth it.

12. Find reasons to laugh more often.

Remez Sasson teaches and writes on positive thinking, creative visualization, motivation, self-improvement, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books, among which are "Peace of mind in Daily Life", "Will Power and Self Discipline", "Visualize and Achieve" and "Affirmations - Words of Power".

Visit his website and find articles and books filled with inspiration, motivation and practical advice and guidance.
Website: http://www.SuccessConsciousness.com
Books: http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebooks_and_books.htm

How To Handle Multiple Priorities

2009-09-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

by: Luc Reid

A friend posed this question:

“What do you do when you have two conflicting things to get done? For example, for me it’s writing vs. studying. Both take the same amount of focus, time and activity level. One is more pleasurable, and one is more necessary.

“So when I have a block of time in which I could EITHER write or study……….I end up surfing the web for hours. In that web-surfing loop where you don’t really look at anything, just go to the same sites over and over to see if they’ve been updated since three minutes ago. To be honest, it makes me feel like that story in I, Robot: Runaround. I experience this practically every time I schedule writing-and-studying time for myself.”

It’s a good question, and one I definitely identify with in my own experience. When I have more than one important thing to do, all of the important tasks are weighing on me at once. If I undertake one of them without making special effort to handle this problem, the fact that I’m not doing the others will distract and upset me. For me, this gets worse when there are more things to do, because then it’s hard to even identify all of the things that need doing, and the other priorities will plague me without my even being fully aware of what they are.

One of the reasons we often turn to something completely self-indulgent in these cases is that we hope it will take our mind off all of our other concerns. For example, what if I have the option of writing or studying or watching a good movie? If I do the writing, the fact that I have studying to do might continue to bother me. If I do the studying, the ignored writing might be the pain in my neck. But if I watch the movie and like it, I might be so swept up in the story that I don’t think about either writing or studying–so that the only solution that gives me any relief is the only one that in the long term doesn’t help me at all.

Fortunately, there is a solution to this. Actually, there might be a bunch of solutions to this, but there’s one solution that I know (and that I’ve recently been using more and more). It has three parts: listing, prioritizing, and resigning.

Listing: If you have a lot of things to do, it helps to list them out. If a lot of things are bothering or distracting you, list them all–but if there are only a couple or a few major issues to tackle, don’t bother with all of the lower-priority ones, and instead just list that couple or those few.

In this way the part of your brain that has been devoted to keeping track of them all can rest, because you now have them all on paper and aren’t in danger of forgetting. Listing also allows you to start

Prioritizing: Looking at your list, you decide what one or two or ten things are really the most important for you to tackle right away. Some might call for a quick action but not be of desperate importance (for instance, calling your friend back and confirming that you’ll be at a party tomorrow), but most of your top items should be chosen for importance, whether or not they would need to be done immediately. Try to avoid prioritizing things that are in your face but that don’t matter much in the scheme of things. For instance, you might have noticed for the hundredth time today that you have a little trouble finding any CD in your CD collection, and it may occur to you to organize your CDs. This idea could be very much on your mind, yet not really at all important in the scheme of things. This shouldn’t “float to the top” unless you really have nothing more important to do (in which case your life must be far, far more peaceful than mine!)

Keep in mind that it’s not remotely necessary to prioritize all your tasks: just figure out which are the top ones, and then of those, make sure at least the top few are in priority order. If two things are exactly as important, choose whichever one you’re more enthusiastic about. If a task is very large, try to break it up into sub-tasks and then prioritize those. For instance, if you have three years worth of personal papers to file, break the list item “File all those papers” down and start with a task “Spend 15 minutes starting in on filing.” You can take the rest and make it a task, “Continue with filing,” which can spawn other tasks in future.

I know I’m getting into organizational techniques instead of obvious motivation techniques here, but among the elements of motivation are knowledge of what you need to motivate yourself to do and goal-setting. The listing step covers the knowledge, and this step covers goal-setting. When you’re done with prioritization, you should have a sub-list of Important Things and single thing at the top of that list. This now allows you to begin

Resigning yourself to the idea that you can only under normal circumstances do one thing at a time. (Note: a later post of mine goes into more detail about resigning ourselves to making good choices.) If you decide to study, for instance, your brain may pipe up “But … I have to do some writing!” This is a broken idea, a lie that you’re telling yourself. In fact, you don’t have to do some writing right then. Writing will come later, and as good as it might be to get some done now, you can’t write at the same time as you’re studying, and for the moment you’ve chosen to study. If you’ve broken up your large studying task into chunks, then perhaps what you have decided to do is study one particular chapter, or study for one hour. And you know that when that hour or chapter is over, if you are still on discretionary time, you’ll be able to switch over to writing then. Get at peace with the idea that nothing is going to get done right away except your top priority. When you catch yourself manufacturing broken ideas, repair them one by one until you feel calm and ready to begin. It’s not an easy thing, but once done, the need to do anything other than what you’ve chosen to do goes away, and you can get to work without distraction.

(c) 2009 by Luc Reid. Willpower Engine articles are free to copy under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

About The Author

Luc Reid is a writer living in Vermont with his 12-year-old son. he has been reading, researching, and writing about cognitive psychology, positive psychology, strengths psychology, nonviolent communication, cooperative living, consensus decision-making, and other topics having to do with personal and community growth for about ten years now. His practical articles on the psychology of self-motivation and willpower appear three times a week at http://www.willpowerengine.com .

Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_7284.shtml

When Life Gets too Hard to Stand, Kneel

2009-09-12T02:41:00.000-07:00

I just have to share this really amazing passage I found posted as an update by one of my Facebook friends.

When Life Gets too Hard to Stand, Kneel

As simple as that... :) Have an inspiring day.

Life is an Echo

2009-09-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

A story of Inspiration by Author Unknown

Many times in our lives, we feel depressed, frustrated ad even bored. We often think life does not offer us enough. But have we ever stopped to think that it is only giving back what we afforded it to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A son and his father were walking in the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh! !!"

To his surprise, hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh! !!"

Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"

He receives the answer: "Who are you?"

Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"

He receives the answer: "Coward!"

He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"

The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention." And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"

The voice answers: "I admire you!"

Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"

The voice answers: "You are a champion!"

The boy is surprised, but does not understand. Then the father explains: "People call this echo, but really this is life. It gives
you back everything you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions. If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspect of life; life will give you back everything you have given to it."

Get Less Done: Stop Being Productive and Enjoy Yourself

2009-09-06T19:03:00.000-07:00

By: Leo Babauta

Follow him on Twitter.

There’s too much emphasis these days on productivity, on hyperefficiency, on squeezing the most production out of every last minute.

People have forgotten how to relax. How to be lazy. How to enjoy life.

Try this: read some of the best books, magazines and blogs on productivity, and see how many will tell you how to get the most out of the time you spend waiting, how to maximize your energy, how to make use of your commute time, how to make every meeting more effective, how to get more out of your workday, how to crank out more widgets.

People are working longer hours, constantly checking their inboxes, constantly focused on Getting More Done.

But to what end?

Are we producing more in order to make more money for corporations? Or to make more money for ourselves? Or just to hold on to our jobs — jobs we might not like anyway?

It’s possible we’re trying to get more done because we love doing it — and if that’s the case, that’s wonderful. But even then, working long hours and neglecting the rest of life isn’t always the best idea. Sometimes it’s good to Get Less Done, to relax, to breathe.

Let’s take a brief look at how to do that.

The Beauty of Getting Less Done
While working long hours and cranking out a lot of widgets is one way to go, another is to work on important things, to create amazing things, and then to relax.

I’m not saying you should surf the web all day, or take naps all afternoon … but why not? Why not enjoy a lovely nap? Why not take a long lunch and then a siesta? Why not enjoy a good book?

I get people who ask me all the time, “What should I do on those days when I can’t seem to be productive?”

My answer: “Enjoy it!”

Sure, we need to produce sometimes, especially if we have to pay the bills, but an obsession with productivity is unhealthy. When you can’t get yourself to be productive, relax. Let go of the need to be hyperefficient. Stop feeling guilty about enjoying yourself.

But what if you can’t motivate yourself … ever? Sure, that can be a problem. But if you relax, and enjoy yourself, you’ll be happier. And if you work when you get excited, on things you’re excited about, and create amazing things, that’s motivation. Not forcing yourself to work when you don’t want to, on things you don’t want to work on — motivation is doing things you love, when you get excited.

It’s how I work every day. I work on lots of projects, on things I really care about, with people I enjoy working with. (See my guide to becoming self-employed if you’d like to do the same.)

How to Relax
It’s funny that I’d even need a section on this topic — how to relax. It seems like it should be something we all know how to do. After all, aren’t we constantly searching for ways to be less lazy? And doesn’t it logically follow that we already know how to be lazy?

It’s possible you already have mastered the art of relaxing. And if so, congratulations. You are a Get Less Done master. All you need now, perhaps, is to let go of the guilt you might feel, and enjoy this relaxation.

But for those of you who have forgotten how to relax, you’re going to have a tougher time. Here’s a hint: don’t stress out about it. If you don’t know how to relax, it’s OK. Breathe. Take it slowly. One step at a time.

Some steps:

Take 5 minutes to go outside for a walk. Breathe the fresh air.
Give yourself more time to do things. More time means less rush.
After work, get outside, take in nature, run around if you can.
Play. Play like a child. Play with a child. Play when you work.
Give yourself a day off. Sleep. Watch TV. Eat bon bons.
At work, give yourself an hour off. Don’t try to be productive. Just have fun.
Work with someone who is exciting. Get excited about a project.
Take evenings off. Seriously, no working in the evenings.
Get a massage.
Breathe.

Step by step, learn to relax. Learn that productivity isn’t everything. Creating is great, but you don’t need to fill every second with work. When you do work, get excited, pour yourself into it, work on important, high-impact tasks … and then relax.

About the Author: Leo Babauta: I’m married with six kids, I live on Guam, I’m a writer and a runner and a vegetarian, and the owner of Zen Habits. I’m also the author of a new best-selling book, “The Power of Less: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essentials … in Work and in Life“. If you want Zen Habits’ philosophy in a handy little volume, please buy the book.

Article Source: http://zenhabits.net/2009/08/get-less-done-stop-being-productive-and-enjoy-yourself/

The Inner Dialogue

2009-08-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

by Remez Sasson

Do you talk with yourself? When we hear people talking aloud with themselves we consider it weird. But have you noticed that all people, with no exception, talk silently with themselves? This, we do not consider odd or weird.

If someone hurts you in some way, or says something you do not like, what do you do? You enact a whole scene of anger in your mind! You envision yourself talking angrily; you shout at him and tell him some not so nice things. Sometimes people spend hours in such negative, destructive inner dialogues.

There is a continuous conversation going on in everyone's head, and a lot of energy, time and attention are wasted on small unimportant incidents. This conversation goes on from the moment of waking until falling asleep.

The inner dialogue continues while working, studying, reading, watching TV, talking, walking, eating, etc. There is a constant judging of people, commenting on what is going on, planning, gossiping, and mental conversations with people.

These inner dialogues bring about a snowball effect. The more we conduct them, the more we become chained to them and unable to stop them. When the emotions are also evoked, more power, energy and attachment are added. This has an adverse effect on the behavior, judgment and general performance.

On many occasions the inner dialogue is negative and strengthens any negative attitude and behavior. Few people have enough faith in themselves and in their abilities, so as to conduct positive inner dialogues. The process and effect of these inner conversations is similar to affirmations. Constant thinking about the same subject influences the subconscious mind, which consequently accepts these thoughts and words and acts on them. Negative inner dialogues bring negative results, and positive inner dialogues bring positive results.

You can use this process to your advantage. It is an automatic activity, which goes on whether you are aware of it or not. If you learn to become aware of it, you gain the ability to control it. You can turn it into a positive dialogue. If you do that, you come to realize that you have a mighty power in your possession.

Try to be aware of your thoughts. Calmly watch what is going in your mind, even if after a few moments you may forget to do that. The inner dialogue goes on even when physically you are engaged with something else. It is not so easy to mentally separate oneself from the thoughts and words the flow through the mind.

Over and over again endeavor to keep your attention of what is going inside your head, and eventually you will be able to become aware of the inner dialogue for longer times. Watching the mind and what is going on inside it develops detachment. Detachment gives a better control of the mind and its chatter.

Whenever you catch yourself conducting a useless, futile conversation with yourself, stop it. Change it to something more useful. Replace the subject, and the words. It is like running an audiotape. Why not replace it with another tape that you like? Why let this tape play by itself? Change the words of the inner dialogue to positive ones about good health, happiness and success.

There is another thing you can do, but this needs concentration and will power. You can try to stop this inner conversation altogether. Try to ignore it and give your mind a vacation. Let the mind rest for a little while. Life can certainly go on, even when this dialogue is silenced. For a little while, enjoy some rest from the mind's incessant conversation.

The inner dialogue is fine sometimes, but most of the time it is just incessant useless chatter, which distract the attention from what you are doing at each moment. By becoming aware of it, and replacing it with a positive one, or just refusing to become involved with it, you gain the ability to control it.

Inspire Others By Sharing What Inspires You

2009-07-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

Author: Trevor Hill

It was still dark when my alarm went off. In those first moments of waking, all I could hear was the patter of rain on the window. That just made bed all the more warm and cozy. I listened again and the rain gently continued; surely I could stay a little longer.

Then out of the gloom came the first tentative notes of a blackbird's song. Then some more notes, slightly stronger. The blackbird seemed to be testing for response. It was like we might call inquiringly into an empty house - 'hello' (pause) 'hello?' (longer pause) 'Is there anybody there?'

There was an answer - another bird called quietly. The blackbird sang back and soon another voice joined in. Now the blackbird, getting more confident, launched into the beautiful melody that defines the spring. In just a few minutes, many other birds were roused to take part so that a full chorus announced the dawn.

Birdsong like this I find truly inspiring. Yet if the blackbird had not taken the lead, starting out as a solo voice, the chorus may never have happened. In a way it's the same with us humans.

When others take the lead, conversations can focus on negativity, complaining and narrow horizons. What if you were to share what you find inspiring? You could create some inspiring conversations with two immediate benefits:

1. You will become inspired by telling others about what inspires you

2. You will inevitably inspire some of the people you tell

In the longer term, you will also be encouraging others to tell their inspiring stories: there is a potential generative effect.

Sharing what inspires you may sound fine among close friends but what about the wider picture? You may feel that it would be awkward to share this in certain contexts - at work for instance. Yet these places are often where some inspiring input is needed most.

No one wants to be labelled 'wacky' so when we share our inspiring stories, we can do it with social skill and sensitivity.

Here are some suggestions where you could start:

1. Art (in its widest sense) is a great place to start. Whether it is music, film, painting, writing or whatever, our culture already gives us 'permission' to find it inspiring. What art experience do you find inspiring?

2. The natural world is another area where people feel comfortable about expressing inspiration. This is helped by the increasing awareness and concern for our natural environment. Like my account of the dawn chorus, what do you find inspiring in the natural world?

3. Biographies - life stories - are another category where we can share inspiration. Who inspires you? What is the reason? Who would be in your top 10?

4. You may have a good cause or favourite charity that generates inspiring stories. This covers a whole range of possibilities and, when you look at the generosity of donations, you can see that many people are inspired by them. What cause do you find inspiring?

So whether it is over lunch, in the office or on the road, there will be opportunities to share what you find inspiring. Take the lead and watch for the difference you will make!

About the Author:

Trevor helps people who want to be energised, motivated and fulfilled, especially in their working lives. If you would like to receive regular articles like this one or get a FREE copy of Trevor's 'Passport To Inspiration' simply sign-up at
http://www.inspiration-at-work.co.uk

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Inspire Others By Sharing What Inspires You

Acceptance is the Answer

2009-05-18T01:27:00.000-07:00

by: Teresa Proudlove

Many people today have lost jobs after decades of service; many others suffer within jobs they can see no way out of. In order to survive a painful job loss - indeed, any type of painful loss - we must come to some acceptance.

How does one find acceptance amidst the humiliation, shame, despair, fear, grief and uncertainty job loss can invoke? How do we accept financial insecurity threatening our lives and our family?

Rarely, can we skip over our painful feelings, wave a wand and create new employment in short order. Often, we want difficult life situations to be some other way.

Yet, if we resist accepting the situation and our mixed bag of feelings we inevitably end up fighting ourselves and the world. Acceptance is the path back to peace.

As they say in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, "Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today... I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is suppose to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake."

We cannot force ourselves into peaceful acceptance. Coming to acceptance is often a volatile emotional journey occurring over time. To begin the journey toward acceptance try letting go of analyzing or attempting to "figure out" the "why's" of the situation and seek trust.

Realizing every life experience has a purpose - even if beyond our knowing - helps pave the way to acceptance. Just holding what we cannot resolve or understand within our hearts moves us closer to acceptance.

As we aspire toward acceptance of life's challenges, grace gifts us with a measure of comfort and solace.

"My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me.
I cannot choose the colors He worketh steadily.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper and I, the underside.
Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful in the
Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver in the
pattern He has planned."

~Author Unknown

About the Author:

Teresa Proudlove's Bio Teresa Proudlove; storyteller, coach, internationally published writer and entrepreneur helps people remember their authentic Self and gifts. Living her passion, Teresa has lead thousands of people through her “Livelihood” workshops. With wisdom and heart Teresa inspires people to create the life and work they love.

Article Source: http://www.yourlifework.com/

Do You Leave People Better Than you Found Them?

2009-05-01T22:16:00.000-07:00

by Nancy Quinn

My Dad was a veterinarian in a small town in Iowa. Being in a farming community, it was mostly large animals that needed his help. I had the privilege of getting to go on calls with him on the weekends and in the summer. I loved riding in the old jeep over the graveled, dusty country roads and Dad always had a pack of Wrigley's gum in the glove box as a treat for me.

After treating the animals, my Dad would stand by the fence and chat with the farmer. The music of their deep laughter would drift over to me as I watched the animals and pet the calves' feathery soft noses through the fence. My dad's motto was to leave people better than he found them, so his jokes were well known in the community. And I don't remember a call without a smiling farmer as we left, and a firm shake of hands in friendship. My father's funeral was "standing room only" as the community showed their support at our grief and shared their stories of him. His legacy will live on, in my family's hearts, as well as all who had the privilege of knowing him.

While I'm not good at telling jokes, or remembering the correct punch lines, I like to follow my dad's motto of life. I show I care about others and try to lift them up and encourage them with a smile. I learned I don't need to have my father's talent for joke-telling. Giving people a smile and encouraging word will still carry on my father's beautiful legacy as I reach out and try to leave people better than I find them too.

Philemon 1:7 "Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God's people."

Romans 12:8 "He who exhorts (encourages), to his exhortation; he who contributes, let him do it in simplicity and liberality; he who gives aid and superintends, with zeal and singleness of mind; he who does acts of mercy, with genuine cheerfulness and joyful eagerness."

May God bless these words as I strive to encourage others in their walk with Christ. The Lord has also blessed me with the opportunity to be a contributing writer to www.MyChildsHeart.org, www.OpenDoorMission.org and www.CalicintoRanch.com - wonderful ministries that reach others for Christ!

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS

Key to Successful Goal Achievement - Perseverance

2009-04-27T00:39:00.000-07:00

by: Nickolove Lovemore

I just love watching the Olympics, witnessing the numerous feats of athleticism, skill, courage, endurance and passion. Athletes have to hone their bodies as well as their minds and, on the day, it is often the individual who has greatest control over their mind that wins. Major championships are always dramatic and what occurred during the Pairs Figure Skating Programme in the 2006 Winter Olympics at the Turino Palavela was certainly that.

The last couple to skate was Dan Xhang and Hao Xhang from China, one of three pairs of Chinese skaters in this particular contest. Tatiana Totomania and Maxim Marinin from Russia had produced a sublime performance and were tipped for gold. For Xhang and Xhang to succeed in their quest for the major prize their skating would have to be impeccable as well as encapsulating the difficult technical elements such as the quad jump where the skater makes four revolutions mid-air. This is a situation where potential does not come into the equation - only what you do on the occasion can be marked and with the new scoring system this was never more the case.

It wasn't that long ago that the quad jump was executed for the first time in competition and now, just like what followed when Roger Bannister broke the 4min mile barrier in 1954, any skater of merit has a quad jump in their bag of tricks. When we see skaters gliding seemingly effortlessly over the ice we forget just how technical, acrobatic and even dangerous much of what they are doing is.

In pairs skating one of the required elements is a throw jump. Imagine being tossed into the air, whipping yourself around a few times with feet and body perfectly aligned and then touching down for a flawless landing.

For a chance at the gold medal, Xhang and Xhang had to go for broke. The opening moments of their routine included a throw jump involving a quad Salchow. Dan Xhang performed the quad but couldn't control the landing. She ended in an awkward box split, twisting and banging her left knee in the process. If that sounds painful, imagine how it must have felt! With her legs splayed and still out of control she crashed into the barriers. Apart from feeling empathy for the pain Dan must have felt as she crash-landed one could not help but also feel sympathy for this skater so graceful one second and then sprawled on the ice, like a fledgling learning the rudiments of flight, the next. The audience gasped and British commentator Barry Davies said resignedly:

"...Tough on them because they are going to end with nothing and she clearly is in considerable pain...What a shame!"

Dan was in obviously discomfort. If she didn't continue the programme she and her partner would walk away with nothing yet if she did skate she risked permanent injury. There was a brief consultation with their coach but no medical treatment. It felt as though time stood still as Xhang continued to move gingerly around the ice watched anxiously by her concerned partner. Then to everyone's surprise the skaters moved into position to resume their performance. The usually eloquent Barry Davies was incredulous:

"Surely not! Surely not! They would have to pick up from where they left off. Have I got that right? I don't see how they can. I don't see how they can." His voice trailed off.

Fellow commentator Robin Cousins, obviously flummoxed, was slow to respond.

"I'm speechless actually because I can't believe that does not hurt to the point where she can't perform. This is a skater that has a career ahead of her that could risk further damage by performing on it [knee]."

But this was the Olympics and you don't walk away from an Olympic dream. The pair did literally pick up from where they left off and as their music restarted the audience erupted with applause for this plucky skater.

The rest of the programme which included 18 more technical elements including the second of their compulsory throw jumps went without any major hitches. Dan continued to hide the pain she must have been experiencing as she took off and landed on her injured leg. Not once did she flinch or stumble. When the pair finished skating the audience were on their feet. While Xhang and Xhang awaited their scores she finally received initial first-aid treatment. The knee was strapped and more of that ice that had been her downfall minutes ago was applied. Fortunately, although she was limping around the Olympic village the following day, Dan Xhang is expected to make a full recovery.

Xhang and Xhang took silver behind the Russian pair, Totomanina and Marinin, knocking team-mates Shen and Zhao into third place and knocking team-mates Pang and Tong out of the medals altogether.

Nothing worthwhile is easy. You've got to aim high. You will make mistakes but when you fall (as opposed to "fail") get up, brush yourself off and try again. The bounty is great for those with the courage and perseverance to see things through to the end. Also, don't let your emotions get in the way. Despite her pain Dan Xhang remained composed and focused. She kept her eye firmly on the prize and she and her partner were duly awarded the silver medal. And, what's more remarkable about this tale is that a few weeks ago the pair hadn't even been thinking of being at the Olympics. Persevere; you are but a moment away from greatness.

About the Author:

Nickolove Lovemore, Personal Trainer, Life Coach and Speaker, works with individuals and businesses to help them achieve success in their chosen endeavours. Please visit http://www.SuccessAccessories.com for special offer.

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What Should I Do About My Drinking Problem?

2009-04-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

For a good percentage of the adult population, the battle with drinking problems is an issue that is faced by many. The first step to battling this problem is acknowledging that there really is a problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Should I Do About My Drinking Problem?
by: Patrick Meninga

If you think you might have a drinking problem, then here are some things you might want to do in order to resolve your situation.

First of all, determine the extent of your problem. This can be done with some creative experimenting on your part. Understand that you have to take this exercise seriously or it will not reveal anything meaningful to you.

What you should do is to go for the next 30 days and limit yourself to one drink maximum per day. Take this very seriously so that you can prove to yourself exactly how bad your drinking problem is. After this experiment is over with, you should do another one in which you go for another 30 days without taking any alcohol at all. Period.

Now if you do these two 30 day trials and take them seriously then you should learn quite a bit about the true nature of your drinking problem. If you do not struggle with either experiment, then chances are pretty good that you either do not have a drinking problem, or that you are so early in the stages of your problem that it is very easy for you to control it. This is the best case scenario.

On the other hand, say that you struggle with the first experiment but not the second one. This would indicate that you have an alcohol abuse problem. When you do put alcohol into your system, you have a lot of problems trying to control how much you take. But due to the fact that you did not have any trouble with the total abstinence experiment, then chances are that you are not an alcoholic.

Now say that the effect is reversed, and you struggle with the second experiment but not with the first one. So you did not struggle when taking a single drink per day, and you could actually control your intake, but when trying to go without any alcohol your life became unmanageable and your probably ended up abandoning the trial altogether. If this is true, then the outlook for you and your future drinking is a lot worse in this case. I believe that this proves you are truly addicted to alcohol, and are suffering from alcoholism.

The biggest problem would be indicated if you were to screw up at both of the 30 day experiments or completely give up on both of them. This would point to a strong indication that you might be an alcoholic.

Now what should you do with the results of these experiments? Well, if you deem yourself to have a problem with alcohol abuse, then you might seek out counseling or therapy. This can help you to learn how to better control your drinking, or learn some new tools to help you to manage your drinking in the future.

If, on the other hand, you decide that you are an alcoholic, then there is no hope for learning to control or manage your drinking. You have to become completely abstinent from alcohol if you want your life to change and this will mean that you need serious help of some kind. In fact, many people in this situation will need to seek out inpatient treatment in order to get off of the alcohol in a safe manner. After this is done, you must take on the huge task of learning how to live a new life in recovery without drinking. Not an easy thing to do by any means, but the reward is tremendous if you can pull it off. A life lived sober is well worth living.

About The Author

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Create a Positive Attitude - How to be Optimistic

2009-04-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

by: Cathy Warschaw

There is not one single person who is born with a natural ability to remain positive. It takes work and effort to see the silver lining on the clouds that we encounter; and we must train our thoughts to remain optimistic when we experience challenges. Sustaining a positive attitude can bring success to your personal and professional life.

In order to achieve a positive attitude, we have to make a conscious decision each day to be aware of our thoughts and actions. Everything we do and say must be in accordance with living a fuller, more optimistic life.

There is an endless array of methods for us to choose from in order to go from negative and critical to positive and radiant. The benefits of having a positive attitude are well worth the effort - you'll be happier and others will enjoy being in your company.

To help you identify what will motivate you to improving your outlook, a few suggestions have been provided.

First, start the day off right by waking up to something soothing and pleasing to your ears. A harsh and loud alarm clock can jar you senseless and put your nerves on edge.

Also, why not give yourself extra time in the morning so that you aren't feeling rushed and pressured to make it to work or some other activity on time? Wake up a little earlier so that you can enjoy getting ready for the day ahead.

Next, try to keep your mind focused on your positive goals for the day. Avoid watching the news or reading the newspapers which are usually filled with items that are depressing.

Make it a habit to take care of your health by eating a balanced diet and staying clear of artificial stimulants. Also, be sure to get some form of physical exercise on a daily basis.

While you are going about your day, try to assume the best of every person and situation that you encounter.

Don't allow yourself to fall prey to perfectionism. Remember that no one is perfect; just because you didn't reach a goal, it doesn't mean you failed. Learn from your mistakes and move forward.

And lastly, remember to focus on the unlimited possibilities that the future holds. Don't dwell on past mistakes - they cannot be changed no matter how much you try.

Living your life with a positive attitude is not the easiest thing to do, but it certainly can be one of the most rewarding. Make a promise to yourself today to become your most optimistic self ever and begin reaping the rewards.

About the Author:

Written by Cathy Warschaw, Director of the Warschaw Learning Institute. Offering cds, eBooks and online training for the dental and medical field. Register for our newsletter at www.WarschawLearningInstitute.com

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How To Build Self Confidence and Self Esteem In Boys

2009-04-14T20:35:00.000-07:00

Building your own self-confidence is hard, what more when you are instilling it into another person? And a teenage boy at that...

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by Tradepla

Despite advances in gender differences, boys are still very much taught that they need to be strong, not show emotions, never be vulnerable, and a host of other behaviors that can make them feel isolated from others.

When boys feel they have no outlets and ways to express themselves, they can lose confidence in themselves and have lower self-esteem. This can have detrimental outcomes, as boys seek ways to feel better about themselves.

This could be getting involved with others who are not the positive influences desired, or acting out in negative ways that lead to them getting in trouble in school or elsewhere.

As boys age, their self-confidence tends to improve; however, if they are involved in activities and detrimental behaviors at a young age, this may well carry into the teen years, when the outcomes can be much more serious. What can you do, as a parent or influence, to foster a healthy self-confidence in young boys?

First, be sure that you are available. If boys know they have someone to talk to who will not laugh at them for expressing their feelings and fears, they will be more likely to take advantage of this. Young boys may have friends who they can talk to, but these boys have also been taught or shown that expressing emotions is unmanly, and that fears are something to be laughed at.

This can result in devastating feelings of rejection and loss of self worth among peers. Therefore, be sure to provide a safe place and ways for boys to express themselves.

Also show boys that it is okay to express emotions. This does not mean that the men in their lives need to be overly sensitive or constantly crying, but displaying a healthy amount of emotion is a positive thing, both for the adult and for the boys who witness it.

Displays of appropriate emotion are important to a boy's sense of self-worth. For example, boys who witness men being stoic and showing little or no emotion during times of high emotional stress may become very confused. A death in the family is one such example.

The boy will understandably be feeling sadness, emptiness, and a host of other emotions. However, if he witnesses the adult men in the family appearing unaffected, this can create a lot of confusion.

This can also make a young boy doubt his own emotions, which are perfectly natural and normal in such a situation. Yet, from what he witnesses, he may conclude that he is abnormal, which can lead to a loss of self-esteem and confidence.

Help boys find what they're good at and encourage it. Not all boys are going to be fabulous at sports or other traditionally "male" activities, and this is okay. If he is good at sports, that's great. But also encourage boys to try a variety of activities and interests to see which ones fit and which do not. If a boy loves reading, for example, do not chastise him for this.

If he is made to feel unworthy for pursuing interests, he can translate this into feeling that he as a person is not important, and this is definitely not something you want to have happen.

Particularly for boys, activities and external pursuits are often seen as a direct reflection of who they are as people. Encourage boys to feel good about who they are, not just what they do.

As boys learn healthy ways to express themselves, follow their interests, and have a strong support system, they will be much better able to build a strong foundation for a lifetime of confidence.

Making it through the teenage years will be easier (not easy, but easier), as will the transition to adulthood. Start early to help young boys to develop a strong sense of self to help them become positive role models for the next generation.

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Eight Simple Anger Management Tips

2009-04-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

Creating a good view of yourself and reflecting it to others is harder than you think, so much more for people with anger in their hearts.

Here is an article I've found on anger management which I hope you would find helpful...

Enjoy the read...

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by David Leonhardt

"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:

Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness are incompatible.

Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course.

Anger reduces our social skills, compromising other relationships, too.

Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships.

Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood.

Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger).

We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process information.

People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management skills and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.

Develop your anger management skills

For more anger management and stress reduction tips like these, click here.

For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #1
Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #2
Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #3
Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #4
Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #5
Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #6
Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #7
Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about "One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream", or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #8
Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.

NEW BONUS ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #7
I ran this one in my Daily Dose of Happiness: Here is how one of your fellow subscribers handles Anger:

"If ever I am angry towards some other people, I've learned not to just utter bad words but rather I write on a journal all what I could have said to somebody and after going through it again and again I sort of get relieved and forgive and forget what the other person did to me. That has saved me a lot."

I then ran a follow-up:

A short while ago, I ran an item from a subscriber about using journaling techniques to dispel anger, in much the same (or opposite?) way that one would use a gratitude journal. Here is a reply another of our subscribers shared with me:

"I am one of those people who pour everything they think and feel into my journals. I also write out my frustrations and anger and when it is all out of my system, i burn the pages,purging not only the journal of the negativism, but also myself......... I don't have to relive the event, or the feelings for they are gone and no longer a part of my life. I leave my journals with a raggedy edge here and there, and i know that i must have had a bad day, but that it passed and i moved on to the rest of my abundantly happy and fulfilling life."

NOTE: If you want to journal away your anger, you might find The 5 Year Journal very useful.

One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.

If these tips do not help and you still feel you lack sufficient anger management skills, you might need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.

About the Author:

David Leonhardt is author of a self-help happiness book. He also runs a Liquid Vitamins Store and serves as a SEO/SEM website marketing consultant

Quotes to Live by

2009-04-06T01:02:00.001-07:00

Inspire yourself day after day... Look for and live by wise words..

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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
~Erma Bombeck

It often takes more courage to change one's opinion than to stick to it.
~Geoffrey F. Abert

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
~Reinhold Niebuhr

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
~King Whitney Jr

Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.
~Keri Russell

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
~Buddha

Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.
~Dorothy Thompson

The Prayer

2009-03-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

When things get quite messy, I find comfort in looking for, reading and pondering on motivational materials on or offline. This was what I found last night and would like to share with you...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By: ~Author Unknown~

A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day, Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle, The minister frowned as he saw the man he hadn't shaved in a while.

His shirt was kinda shabby and his coat was worn and frayed. The man knelt and bowed his head, then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed, each noon time came this chap, Each time he knelt just for a moment, a lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister's suspicions grew, with robbery a main fear, He decided to stop the man and ask him, "What are you doing here?"

The old man said, he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour. Lunchtime was his prayer time, for finding strength and power.

"I stay only moments, see, because the factory is so far away; As I kneel here talking to the Lord, this is kinda what I say:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY. SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN."

The minister feeling foolish, told Jim, that was fine. He told the man he was welcome to come and pray just anytime.

Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks." He hurried to the door. The minister knelt at the altar, he'd never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love, and met with Jesus there. As the tears flowed, in his heart, he repeated old Jim's prayer:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY. SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN."

Past noon one day, the minister noticed that old Jim hadn't come. As more days passed without Jim, he began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him, learning he was ill. The hospital staff was worried, but he'd given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them, brought changes in the ward. His smiles, a joy contagious. Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn't understand why Jim was so glad, When no flowers, calls or cards came, not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed, he voiced the nurse's concern: No friends came to show they cared. He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up and with a winsome smile; "The nurse is wrong, she couldn't know, that in here all the while

Everyday at noon He's here, a dear friend of mine, you see, He sits right down, takes my hand, leans over and says to me:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM, HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP, AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN. ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY, I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY, AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS CHECKING IN."

~Author Unknown~

Steps to Building Your Self-Confidence

2009-03-25T20:31:00.000-07:00

In life, sometimes, it's the simplest things that we take for granted that may be holding the key to pure happiness. Take the time to know these things and you'll be amazed at how much it can change how you see yourself...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

by Ken Snowie

Accept yourself

The very first step in building self-confidence is to accept yourself in an unconditional way. You are human, therefore you are not perfect, so don't dwell on what you see as flaws. Everyone has qualities that someone else does not. This is what makes us want to go out and find partners who give us love, and make us feel wanted and complete. Those great feelings would not be possible if you were perfect. Accept yourself how you are. It will help to rid you of constant stress and worry over things that you cannot control.

Do what you want!

How long has it been since you last did something that you really liked, something that you enjoyed doing as a child? How long has it been since you went out for ice cream with a friend? These simple things have the power to build your self-confidence and add fulfillment to your life. Life can be very quite simple. It is easy to get caught in the rat race of today's world, and lose yourself in the process. It is easy to forget your purpose, what you like and what you enjoy doing. It happens to people all of the time. It is your responsibility to yourself that you get back to those simple things in life.

Find a group of friends

You've heard the saying, "birds of a feather flock together". It is important to find people with whom you enjoy spending time and doing things. You will find that life is a little bit easier when you are among the people who share your interests and your feelings. There is an understanding between you, as well as an open dialogue. Good conversation and friendship are healthy and important for our minds and souls.

Set goals and just do it!

Take one step at a time. Those single steps will develop into a giant gait over time. Do not overwhelm yourself, but simply do the task at hand. But set achievable goals and go for them! Don't focus on the big picture, concentrate on the small steps. This is the only way to accomplish anything, and to avoid procrastination and depression. Even the smallest achievement will give you a sense of accomplishment that will boost your self-confidence.

Discover more about self confidence by visiting http://www.selfconfidencesecrets.info

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Success Mantra

2009-03-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

Adaptation is a time-proven factor that is key to the survival of whatever specie in our ever-changing world. Embrace change and bring out your best you no matter where your journey takes you...

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Success Mantra

Aery Prabhakar

What really makes you tick?

“Life is a journey, not a destination” – this old saying goes deeper than it may seem in the first glance.

If you are someone who understands that life is consistently changing and new goals keep on taking place of the older ones, you will understand that it’s easy to achieve any kind of success in life when you know never to stop forming new goals. Goals are the key to a confident, enthusiastic and powerful living.

However, this article is not about forming goals. It’s about knowing what makes you tick and motivated enough to create those goals.

If you aspire for something deeper and more meaningful in your life, here are a few questions you can ask yourself to learn what makes you tick!

1. What do I really want?

The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Spend time discovering your deepest passion, something that you can eat, drink and sleep over without ever feeling tired. Music? Painting? Public Speaking? Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?

“Be flexible” is the mantra of success in today’s world. Change is the most important factor of life and ironically the only thing in the entire universe that remains unchanged (eh?). Changing when it’s necessary can open the doors to unending happiness and peace in your life. The more difficult it seems to be, the more rewards it promises.

3. What's the bright side in all of this?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round! Hey, just be positive (no, not your blood group) and make it happen. You can do it.

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?

That’s an interesting one. There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?

It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, and/or a great son, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?

So maybe you don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean you can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit. It’s good to change when it’s necessary, so just be flexible and don’t get stuck up.

8. How much could I have?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?

May be your spouse? Or a goal that scares you but at the same time motivates the soul out of you. It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. It could be a person, a goal or something you just don’t know right now. It’s time that you discover it.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?

So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that must be a part of your life!

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Work Life Balance; It's Our Choice

2009-03-06T17:32:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest challenges that most everyone shares is achieving balance in work and personal life. This article discusses work-life balance in the eyes of a Change Management trainor.
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Work Life Balance; It's Our Choice
Kevin Dwyer

Millions of dollars are spent each year in organisations seeking advice on achieving work life balance for its employees. Some of the courses run and the projects commissioned and implemented are very good. Some leaders without the need for advice from third parties have been exceptional at restoring work life balance for employees.

However, it would appear from what I have seen and heard in interacting with colleagues, family, clients and acquaintances, most organisations must be wasting their money and most leaders are not “getting it”.

Life, it seems, is a series of ever increasing stresses as people try to make daily decisions about completing work activities, meeting family responsibilities and taking part in family activities as well as participating in social activities and in some cases, just finding time to think on one's own.
The approaches taken by individuals and organisations to combat a perceived imbalance between work and life are quite varied.

The most improbable solution is the edict. The edict comes from a management team or a committee of some kind that work life balance is important. Improving work life balance will improve morale and thereby productivity and staff retention. Every manager and supervisor is instructed that work life balance must be a consideration of every new project.

Some managers exhort their subordinates to drive work life balance. They even worry about individuals who perceive that long hours equal a good reputation and career progression. Many times of course, the exhortation comes via email at ten o'clock at night whilst the manager works at home for a few hours in the evening to catch up. Sometimes, posters are put up in lunch rooms telling people to have better work life balance.

The edict always fails. It fails for one simple reason. Nothing has really changed about the nature of the work, the culture of the organisation, the skills of the employees and it is done pretty much as do as I say, not do as I do. Whilst some initial “Hawthorne Effect” flurry of rebalancing occurs, it does not last as normal service resumes.

Training people in work life balance issues has some merit. Independent of the training given, the simple raising of conscious thought about work life balance helps individuals and departments within an organisation to contemplate their balance. Sometimes, positive action comes from this contemplation.

Raising the awareness of the issue and training people in some skills such as critical decision making, time management, strategy development and implementation, information management, project management and meeting management has even more merit.

It is even better to train people in some of these skills and orchestrate events and projects so that opportunities are presented to practice the skills. Going further, to evaluate their capacity to absorb and use the skills and adjust the training/coaching programme is best.

Providing escapes from work such as gym memberships, social clubs and team activities works for those who want to go to a gym or join a social club. For those who don't, the compunction to attend or being seen as “Having no work life balance” only compounds their ability to spend time on what they would prefer to be doing.

Sometimes what people prefer to do is to work. Their work life balance is tipped in favour of work. It is their source of self esteem. It is what they feel they do best of all. Or it is what they need at this time for financial reasons, and their family supports them in having the balance they have.

Sometimes what people prefer to do is to enjoy their home life. They have changed circumstances such as a new family or a new relationship or it is just the way they were brought up. In some situations this balance does not match the needs of the organisation and their career may be at risk. However, their families support them in taking that risk.

Sometimes organisations need to have people work incredibly long hours to meet deadlines or to grow or simply just to beat the competition. Sometimes an organisation can afford to allow flexible hours and working from home systems.

To have a reasonable chance of success work life balance programmes should:

• raise awareness of work life balance as an issue
• build skills to increase self control over use of time
• increase flexibility of working location and time as the business needs dictate
• allow and encourage the work life balance to swing due to circumstance

Developing programmes to improve work life balance which insist on an arbitrary value of balance dictated by policy or an overzealous leader will fail as the choice of what balance means is
ours.

©2006 Change Factory

About the Author:
Kevin Dwyer is the founder of Change Factory. Change Factory helps organisations who do do not like their business outcomes to get better outcomes by changing people's behaviour. Businesses we help have greater clarity of purpose and ability to achieve their desired business outcomes. To learn more or see more articles visit http://www.changefactory.com.au or email kevin.dwyer@changefactory.com.au

Article Source:
http://www.bestmanagementarticles.com
http://time-management.bestmanagementarticles.com

25 Winning Principles for Self Development

2009-03-06T00:37:00.000-08:00

Self-development can be said to be among those things that are "easier said than done". Having said this, we might as well get downright with principles. Enjoy the read... Winning Principles for Self Development
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25 Winning Principles for Self Development
By Marenda Hughes Taylor

Considering no one is perfect it is fair to say that there is always room for improvement. We all have strengths, weaknesses, and areas in which we can improve. Successful happy people continuously seek growth and development opportunities because they know that improving self is a key factor to improving life. If you are unhappy with certain aspects of your life, if you are not where you want to be, if you are stressed, depressed, or uncertain about your life direction self development is your first step towards positive and productive change. Begin using these 25 winning principles for self-development to see real change right away.

1. Set goals for yourself.

2. Commit your goals to paper.

3. Expect to be successful.

4. Ask for what you want.

5. Be decisive.

6. Accept responsibility for your life and your actions.

7. Proactively seek opportunities to learn and grow.

8. Make it a point to learn from key experiences.

9. Seek the lesson in any failures, mistakes, and setbacks.

10. Look for the good in every situation.

11. Seek feedback.

12. Accept constructive criticism.

13. Adapt to changes.

14. Find ways to Effectively manage stress.

15. Balance work, personal, and family life.

16. Work effectively with little or no supervision or direction.

17. Meet commitments.

18. Face fears and challenges head on.

19. Believe in yourself.

20. Refuse to compromise.

21. Follow and trust your intuition.

22. Be confident.

23. Be persistent and never give up.

24. Don’t hold grudges. Forgive, forget, and let go.

25. Go the extra mile.

A solid commitment to self-development lays the foundation to living life abundantly. Everyone wants to be prosperous, happy, and fulfilled, it all begins and ends with self-development.

About the author: Marenda Hughes Taylor is Chief Operating Officer of 1st Love Records, a living life abundantly Motivator, and an Internet Business Owner.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marenda_Hughes_Taylor
http://EzineArticles.com/?25-Winning-Principles-for-Self-Development&id=608041

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